Communication is an important aspect of any relationship; we are always communicating. My professor often says "we can never not communicate, but sometimes, we communicate the message that we do not wish to communicate."

The validity of such a statement is realized in the fact that most of our face-to-face communication is in fact non-verbal. Scientists estimate that 60% of communication is through the media of body language or facial expression. 30% of communication is delivered through tone, which leaves 10% of the message for the actual words.

When communication in any form occurs, the party which sends the message first encodes the message and sends it to the second party through a medium. This can be through words, through posture, or even through texting or like media. The receiving party must then decode the message. Herein lies the complication. Words are difficult to decode when they are delivered with the mixed signals of other media. After an argument, for example, an apology delivered by words may be difficult to believe if it is also delivered with a stance of crossed arms and a tapping foot. Forms of communication through texting and electronic media are even more difficult to understand because the primary forms of communication (non-verbal and tone) are excluded.

In order to more effectively communicate to heal and uplift marriages, what should be done about our forms of communication?

This week, I want to discuss marital intimacy a little. As this is an extremely personal topic, I want to avoid any specific details and discuss the differences in perception that men and women have regarding intimacy.

For men, sexual intimacy is primarily a physical response. Because of their physiological structure, men are more likely to view sexual intimacy as the pinnacle of emotional bonding. In saying this, I do not wish to imply that women do not view sexual intimacy as an emotional bond - quite the opposite, in fact. Women, as opposed to men, are more likely to desire physical intimacy if they feel loved, needed, and secure. Unlike men, they are not physically capable of wanting to engage in sexual intercourse at a moment's notice. They require an emotional build-up to that point.

Likewise, the actual physical actions differ between men and women. As I mentioned, the topic we are discussing is sensitive and personal. If you want to look into the matter further, I would recommend the book "And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment" by Laura M. Brotherson. The book takes an in-depth and respectful view at the male and female sexual response.